there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
