i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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