My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
