i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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