Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
