real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
