Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just google imaged poop.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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