Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
