why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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