My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
