You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
