she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
