I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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