one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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