I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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