I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
