remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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