come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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