Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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