Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
