Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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