I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
