i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
