Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
