margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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