you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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