did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
