I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm sobbing to NWA
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
