You're completely useless in the revolution.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Randomize
