No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
