please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
