You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
