Say something about gay babies.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
