but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
