I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
