I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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