just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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