He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if only i could text you this smell
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
