All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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