hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
