Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize