She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
