Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
