I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
