Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
