It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
