I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
