"it" just moved
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
