Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

(404): View more from Georgia

so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill

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(571): View more from Virginia

how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

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(509): View more from Washington

I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

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(253): View more from Washington

That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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(203): View more from Connecticut

apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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(815): View more from Illinois

She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.

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