went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
